April 2021 – Journaling Life's Sojourns

Mentoring Moods of Mind & Memory

At present, eight months away from my becoming a septuagenarian (a 70-year old), I have seen my name on many a mailing list from which profuse influxes of researched material abound — much of it with nurturing narratives and associated advice imparted to “mature” (i.e. older) men like me.

Highly promoted publications from medical experts (such as the “Harvard Heart Letter”, and the Massachusetts General Hospital’s “Mind, Mood & Memory”) point to facts and identify fictions as regards the state of health and habits of wellness (for better or worse) in men 60 and over.

The texts — which address common questions from patients, relatives, and the public — serve as clarifying (and profitable) adjuncts to basic hospital services. A few common questions submitted by “seasoned” men are these:

— Can controlling my blood pressure improve my memory?
— Why should I ask my doctor to check my blood pressure in both arms?
— For older men, can sex bring on a heart attack?
— What if my heart flutters, flip-flops, or skips a beat?
— Is there such a thing as a broken heart?

In that vain — and in my personal experience as a healthy and generally informed reader — I see such publications earnestly attempting to accurately communicate to men the vital and urgent need to ongoingly establish and sustain their own personal self care, specifically aimed toward maximum health and wellness.

The large-print lead line in the most recent “Harvard Health Letter” proclaims:
FALSE — “What you don’t know can’t hurt you”
TRUE — “What you DO know can SAVE you.”

Then, an elaboration on that salient point states …
“Take ‘silent’ heart attacks, for example: They account for a shocking 45-50% of all heart attacks. They’re called ‘silent’ because their signs and symptoms are commonly brief or minor — typically with very mild chest pain (if any). That’s why those attacks are often ignored or attributed to seemingly routine symptoms like heartburn or muscle pain.

“Fact is, silent heart attacks can create scar tissue in the heart, thus raising the risk of a second, even more dangerous heart attack.”

I see this (potentially lethal) malady as one among a plethora of physical disruptions that millions of people on earth are experiencing at present. And — if a fraction of those (quite a large fraction, I sense) are facing what I have met in times past, it involves far more than physical factors: Moods of mind and memory are also actuated in full.

Firstly, let’s be clear as to what a “mood” actually is …
A Mood, in the most general sense, is seen as a “temporary state of mind or feeling” — as in “People seem to be in a very good mood today”.
Yet the adjective “moody” often bears a more specific and conditional connotation, as depicts one “given to unpredictable changes of mood, especially sudden bouts of gloominess or sullenness.”

On one hand, with the phrasing “moods of mind and memory”, one attempts to differentiate the mind’s (emotionally charged) assessments of present-moment dynamics now in play, from the memory’s tendency toward fictional reconstructions (hence, inevitable misperceptions) of the already proven past.

Then, on the other hand — in light of unique opportunities destined for each of us — we may indeed elect to live Life anew in each moment, amidst preferences we choose on our own unique terms. Meanwhile, we just might entertain, in childlike wonderment, vivid revelations with intrinsic incentives that move us along apace.

Yet how, when, and with what degree of ease will all of this come about? Perhaps this is prime time when a mentor may well be a Godsend — IF, of course, one’s chosen mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor who encourages and supports one to manage one’s own continual learning, in order to maximize one’s own limitless potential, still latent skills, & Life’s “finest wine” yet to be tasted.

In addition, a perceptive mentor can provide a setting where one’s moods help one discern how to best usher a catharsis of repressed emotions into a finely patterned state of inner peace.

Also, “now” is always prime time for realization — when the highest aspects of our moods are what awaken us to ever present, yet momentarily momentous expressions of Divine Mind that re-sound residual overtones ever divined from the Ancient of Days.

And as such, there abides an accord (well beyond outward habits of thought) in the depths of Soul Knowing, where Reality, Legacy & the Heritage of Ages are wholly respected and safely protected.

For some time now, I myself have gained, step by step, a privileged awareness of vibratory elements that precede all earthly actions and manifest achievements.

In other words, visible results (present & future) are the precise effects of Invisible Cause (“SourceEnergy”) — Emanations that balance and attune the qualities and quantities of the soul’s real-time experiences of resonance and resistance.

That SourceEnergy is Itself the causal Power that creates Worlds throughout the Universe. Naturally of course, that includes dear Mother Earth — where, in Her Enfoldment, we incarnate ones — each and all — live, move, and have our Being.

And the perfect Mentor, attuned in the Ways of SourceEnergy, inherently Sees and Knows the Wonderment of You & Your World as Whole & in One Accord.

This is the “Now” when the Mentor Answers Your Call.
And the Divine in You Sees and Knows that
YOU — in Unison with your Mindfulness, Moods, and Memory — Are The Answer.

Essences of Abundance

I have meditated ongoingly, for over four years now, with eyes anew — Eyes that now envision Abundance in a much more expanded way than I could even glimpse before Life called on me to release my self-conscious efforts to achieve, and enjoy the freedom of unfettered Being.

What a relief! From what? For one thing, from times that advanced my concerns over finances.

Such times posed enough of a distraction that I could too easily lose resonance with the robust Essences of Abundance– not only Prosperity, but moreover, naturally inherent Abundances of:

Health & Wellness of Being, Happiness & Love of Life,
Vibrant Energy (Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual), as well as a
Balance of Satisfaction Now & a Clear Expectancy of What Can Be.

*The True Meaning of Abundance and the Value of Strong Bonds*

I am reminded of a story that imparts powerful significance:
More than a century ago, a young, rookie newspaper reporter — new to town and filling in for a last-minute substitution in the paper’s newsroom — was hastily assigned to do an interview. That chance meeting was (as was later journaled), “when the Hand of Destiny reached out.”

The young reporter in 1908 was Napoleon Hill — the now-legendary author who ushered in a new philosophy of personal achievement central to a “success movement” in the last century.

The man he met was Andrew Carnegie — Steel magnate, and the richest man alive at the time. Amidst the 73-year-old millionaire’s 64-room mansion in Manhattan, Carnegie evidently told robust tales of his achievements — except one still not certain to involve Napoleon Hill himself.

That was until Carnegie, in fact, proposed an intriguingly futuristic venture with him in mind:
“The opportunity to pioneer the world’s first practical philosophy of individual achievement.”

“I will introduce you to men who can and will collaborate with you in its organization,” Carnegie stated, then asked, “Do you want the opportunity? And will you finish the job if I give it to you?”

“Yes!” Napoleon proclaimed without hesitation. “I’ll undertake the job — and I will finish it!”

At last, Carnegie, the master commander, presented a defining challenge, with this question:
“If I give you this opportunity, are you willing to devote 20 years of your time to research the causes of success and failure without pay, earning your own living as you go along?”

When the generation’s most powerful businessman saw that Napoleon was beyond startled — suddenly nonplussed, perplexed, confused, and bewildered — Carnegie explained,”It is not unwillingness to supply the money. It is my desire to know if you have in you the natural capacity to ‘go the extra mile’ — that is, to render service before trying to collect for it.”

Indeed, Napoleon willingly and ably met Andrew Carnegie’s mandate with sustained action:
He went on to design and organize an American philosophy of personal achievement.

For the next 20 years, he Interviewed such men as Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Alexander Graham Bell, Theodore Roosevelt, John Rockefeller, and many other leaders and innovators.

From those teachings came “Think and Grow Rich” — considered by many to be the greatest success book ever written. It offered essential principles for improving one’s health, wealth, and success — Theorems as powerful and pertinent today as when they were drawn 70 years ago.

What I see in this story — and what determined my sharing it with you now — derives from a knowing that my own experience is similar in essence to that of Napoleon Hill’s, depicted here.

Factual elements include this particularly notable similarity (herein below):
Hill spent 20 years without salary, interacting with people at the front edge of their expert fields. He received varied sources of support, increasing as his focused purpose gained momentum.

I myself spent more than 20 years without salary, but with a livelihood supported by a network of intentional communities, where I worked with people at the front edge of ontological experience.

Each of the experiences (both Napoleon Hill’s and mine) was perfectly destined for each of us.

In the end, I realize that my own resonance with each of the Essences of Abundance has been, is now, and will ever be precisely what I let It Be. May Abundance Fully Appear for Us, Each & All.

Yours Contently — PenDell

Healing Journey

As some of you know, I have worked for many years with Energy Healing. Energy healing is a general term for holistic practices, some of them ancient, that activate the body’s subtle energy fields to remove insufficiencies in a person’s innate ability to heal oneself.

Recently, when I attended each of the three on-line “Zoom” gatherings of which I am a member, there was a common theme that, with every story told, showed itself to be universal. I call it the “Healing Journey”.

*Healing Energy*
*Photo cred: @SharonMcCutcheon*

If you will indulge me — Here follows a retrospective view of a healing journey upon which I and my wife Melanie embarked, and which I journaled for review. Here is a portion of the first chapter:

The initial two months of my own Healing Journey (which began with a rapid ride to the local hospital’s emergency room on August 19, 2016) found me with steadily diminishing energy, draining cognizance, in a nine-week marathon amid a mantle of semi-conscious mindlessness.

A long, constant sleep was prompted by enough of a disconnect between my central and peripheral nervous systems that it brought a temporary pause in several of my bodily functions. Albeit my “Higher Mind” in control of my autonomic and endocrine systems was still intact and mercifully available to the currents emanating from the source of Life Energy.

Nevertheless, further mysterious downturns in the overall wellness of my physical capacities led our doctors to surgically perform a brain biopsy in search of the cause of any sorts of unfamiliar autoimmune maladies.

Their conventional tests were varied and elaborate. Yet, in the end, they led to the treatment of symptoms only – helpful as far as it could go, yet nothing that yielded a conclusive determination as to what the real cause was.

That health-focused adventure culminated with me and Melanie (my angel-incarnate wife and suddenly made caregiver responsible) facing what I call a “near-Ascension (i.e. a ‘near-death’) experience”.

Although sufficiently intense to require full, rapt attention, that particular crisis nevertheless afforded me essential psychic space for sublime glimpses of the non-physical realm (some would call it “Heaven”)– a cosmic perspective that made for an unimpeded witnessing of my own page in the “Book of Life”.

Moreover, it bestowed on me a renewed commission: To forge a fresh soul agreement with Currents of Spirit (ineffable currents that I will translate in words, as best I can at present) in vital service to Mankind. The core question of intent then, from the higher consciousness present with me, was this:

“Does your soul choose to hold steady for now in your Life Substance of Ascension amid this ‘third density’ of the ‘Here and Now’ (governed by the time and space of the earthly realms)? Or choose Ye for its release to ascend from here-now, for to abide in wait for the New Day?”

My answer was simply this: ‘I still have unfinished work to do on Earth. Hence, according to the pledge expressed in the ‘Shaman’s Prayer’, I choose to shelter my Soul in place on Earth now, while I hold safe my Ascension in You amidst the heavenly aspects of Earth, for the sake of others in Human Being. All for (the) One, and One for (the) All”.

Then, in the moment I had spoken that answer, the ceremonial proceedings of Soul Agreement with Spirit ensued, as a celestial chorus in Oneness resounded.

And it was then that I saw my Melanie’s face trained on me at close physical range and with earnest intent, helping me return from Inner Realms to Earth’s here & now. Quite a unique warmest of reunions for two lovingly kindred Souls.

I give deep thanks for every moment granted as this Healing Journey continues.

Stage Fright

When I was a singer decades ago — performing opera roles, musicals, and concertizing wide ranges of classical vocal repertoire — “performance anxiety” (i.e. “stage fright”) was common among several of my performing-artist friends.

At times, they would tell me that their stage fright was becoming a matter of course almost every time they presented themselves before an audience.

Performance anxiety

In the decade when I was in my 20’s, and in the midst of various stages of my performing arts training, distractions like stage fright just didn’t exist for me.

I was busy studying music in college, composing in grad school, then honing my vocalism at Cleveland Institute of Music, while incessantly singing in public for any audience within earshot (big or small –“cultured”, or not so much).

While I was living and learning in an especially supportive world, there were precious few external distractions. I felt so self-assured in expressing myself — Right up until the day when I had a powerful awakening:

I had boldly ventured from a decade of stringent tutelage into the “real” world of professional music-making. From that first moment when I passionately envisioned myself being paid handsomely to provide “Artistry” (a subjective “product” intangible to many), I could not stop my own visceral “performance anxiety” from infusing this, my newborn experience, with self-doubt.

Out of concern for my friends and myself, I sought to learn all about “performance anxiety”. Subsequent research showed me that “stage fright” is often experienced as an unnerving apprehension vaguely sensed before or during one’s appearance in front of an audience.

It can affect self-conscious people, each in different ways. For example, it can beset even veteran professionals: musicians, dancers, politicians, athletes, public speakers — Anyone.

Symptoms are observable in specific ways that affect the human capacities:

Physically: Sweating, altered heart rate, headache, upset stomach, chills or nausea
Mentally: Confusion, disorientation, memory lapses, or avoidance of failure and ridicule
Emotionally: An urge to escape from the situation, distress or agitation

Well, that sort of scientific research on stage fright is all well and good, and with regard to each of the elements of Soul depicted, we could tell each other stories galore!

And yet I, for one, can see larger implications attending the words, “stage fright” — More than a performer’s personal unease over being seen, judged, devalued, or discredited.

Even that term lends itself to wordsmithery. For example, the “Stage of Life” sounds grand in scope with vast and varied terrain. Then…

The Stages of One’s Life on Earth have ages and stages amidst the Eternal Present Moment.

So, what was all that sudden self-doubting tribulation in me really about? Self-doubt amidst performance anxiety may include a number of emotional questions and cognizant perceptions — Perhaps some like these:

My assessment of what would be expected of me: Was it realistic, or not so much?
My new, assertive employer’s original opinion of me … Was it in fact overestimated?
Is my listless self-doubt giving me frets because I underestimate my capacities?
Am I racked with insecurity over the possibility that I will be rejected, then dejected?

Bottom-line:
Living is filled full with both stage fright and glorious flights of Destiny in the making! Hence, we find that — if we relax and allow it — every stage of “performance anxiety” makes way for an awesome performance of SourceEnergy powerfully manifested and artfully expressed.

So May We Let the Divine Performance of Life Begin & Never End

Visionary Generations of Humanity

Earlier this week, I gave a speech to fellow Toastmasters who regularly come together to learn and exercise leadership and communication skills. This particular speech was my finishing touch on a months-long project of mine — the topic being “Visionary Leadership”. And during those several months, it came closely home to me that great lessons can be learned and lent when one takes responsibility to be a leader who communicates a vision to others.

My speech stated examples of essences along these lines:
“A visionary leader ensures that the vision held is actuated (made real) beyond oneself. This is accomplished early on by outlining a strategic plan for achieving goals, then empowering those whom one leads to generate a vision and resultant actions of their own creation.”

And successful visionary leaders are, first of all, leaders of themselves by creating a Vision Statement, one which supports a Mission Statement, outlining values, purposes and goals.

Relatively easy for me, or anyone, to say. Yet obviously, it is the actual doing that counts.

Leading the doing of anything worthwhile calls for communication. And any integrous communication must have its facts straight. Continually, I find that keeping facts straight is more important now than ever before — especially when streams & screams of MIS-Information often play out — loud & large in this rapidly real-time Information Age of ours.

Acts of Doing come in a myriad of forms by people of varying ages. Case in point, five recent Presidents of the USA, present and past, are now over 70 years of age. Former President and Nobel Peace Prize-winning philanthropist Jimmy Carter is still going strong at age 96.

And, on the other end of this current generational range of lives, the youngest generations now living are notably and nobly represented. Here follow three outstanding examples of excellence:

Millennial, 31-year-old Whitney Wolf Herd is the youngest female CEO ever to take a company public. Last month, Time magazine’s headline, in its Profile article, “Queen Bee”, said of her, “Whitney Wolf Herd turned a vision of a better Internet into a billion-dollar brand.” She herself was reported as stating, “The Internet has megapower to shift behavior, if you use it for good.”

Generation Z’s currently most famous 23-year-old, Amanda Gorman, read her poem, “The Hill We Climb” at the recent Inauguration Ceremony for President Biden and Vice President Harris. Days later, former First Lady Michelle Obama was interviewing Amanda, when she voiced this:

“Amanda, You are part of a rising generation that isn’t afraid to call out racism and injustice when you see it. How do you think Art fits into these larger social movements? Do you think about these things as you write?”

“Absolutely”, Amanda answered without hesitation, “Poetry and language are often at the heartbeat of movements for change. Poetry is the lens we use to interrogate the history we stand on and the future we stand for.”

Now, a Generation Alpha, industrious 10-year-old — named Bellen Woodward, living in Leesburg, Virginia — is already on a mission for Inclusion regardless of skin color. Her “Vision Statement” includes this summary: “My different shades of Peaches and Browns can hopefully match everyone — including me, my friends, and my classmates.”

Again, as Time magazine reports: “Bellen has created her own line of crayons in tones that reflect the wide spectrum of skin colors she sees in the world — claiming the title, “World’s First Crayon Activist!”

“The world belongs to those who shape it. And however uncertain that world may feel at a given moment, the reassuring reality seems to be that each new generation produces more of what these kids have already achieved — Positive Impact in All Sizes.”

Well now, that ends our quoting and interviewing for now. And, for a couple more minutes, let’s engage together in a bit of wordsmithery:

We have, until now in this post, used the word “Generation”, to refer to all of the people born and living at about the same time, and regarded collectively.
OR “Generation” is also the name for the acts of creating, causing, making, or engendering something.

Now, the word “Humanity” can refer to human beings collectively, the human race as a whole. OR we can employ the word, “Humanity” as a synonym for several positively uplifting words: humaneness, kindness, benevolence, empathy, compassion, and brotherly or sisterly love.

So now then, let’s combine the words generation and humanity in a statement that reads as follows: “May the visionary generations of our humanity bestow upon one another Humaneness, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, and Compassion through our manifest expressions of Brotherly and Sisterly Love.”

The new, combined reference resonates with me when, at times of intensity, I have a seasoned, internal alerting mechanism that cues me to stop and take a few deep breaths. Then, in quietude, I offer up thankfulness for the Currents of Love, Truth and Life.

Those Currents imbue me with kindness and patience with myself, as well as compassionate openness to others. And, in this pristine moment, I remember the last verse of John Lennon’s visionary communication set in his legendary song, Imagine, “You may say I’m a dreamer, But I’m not the only one, I hope someday you’ll join us, And the world will live as one.”